Teacher Tip # 11

As a teacher, I find myself asking the question "...Why?!" quite often.  Like "Why would you tie your own shoes together?" or "Why are you wearing 3 sweatshirts today?"  Most of the time when I ask questions like these, I get a blank stare as a reply as if I've just asked them to complete a mind-blowingly difficult task.  I guess I shouldn't be surprised...I mean...they just DID drizzle glue all over their chair and sit on it.  What do I expect them to say?..."So I won't fall off the chair.."?  I'm still amazed though at the lack of reasoning behind so many of their odd behaviors.

Here's an example.  Just the other day as I taught a lesson about the formation of clouds, a student points out the fact that another student of mine (we'll call him Mr. Scribbles) had colored his hands, front and back, with black marker.  Of course, I stop the lesson and have the student hold his hands up for the whole class to see.  I've learned with him that many of the odd things he does, he does for a laugh.  Instead of asking him why he had done such a thing (as experience told me that I knew what his response would be already) I asked the class when the last time they had colored their hands like this had been.  A few replied, "Kindergarten..for sure.." while others said "Oh, we've never done that!"  Needless to say, Mr. Scribbles was feeling a little less like a class clown and more like a real goofball.  He asked me if he could go wash his hands.  I pondered for a moment and decided, "No, Mr. Scribbles.  You've wasted enough learning time.  You'll just have to wait until we all take a restroom break."  Yes, I am a little bit evil.

So I go on with my lesson which was of course enthralling when another student starts motioning toward Mr. Scribbles desk once more.  To my dismay (but not surprise) he has poured his water bottle onto his hands and lap and is trying to rub the black into his skin.  As to not interrupt the class further, I simply walk by his desk and take his water away mid sentence. 

Nearing the end of my lesson now, I see yet another hand go up.  It is again about the 'man of the hour' who is now licking his hands in an attempt to rid himself of ink.  What he doesn't realize is that when you touch wet inky hands to your face and lips, much of that ink (which now looks more green than black) stays behind.  The kid's face was covered!  He looked like an unsymmetrical greenish Rorschach Test.  At this point I couldn't help but stop as the kids were no longer able to pay attention to my riveting lesson on dust particles and water vapor.  I said to Mr. Scribbles, "So Mr. Scribbles...  is this something you're planning on doing again?"  Through his hooded sweatshirt which he had drawn tightly around his face so only his nose peeked through, he mumbled, "Mmmph..noo.."  So, I finally let him go wash up. 

I still don't know the true reason behind his artistic decision but in cases like this I've decided that instead of wondering 'Why!?' it's much more fun to make up a reason.  So here's what I've come up with...

Teacher Tip # 11  When a kid colors his hands black, front and back, it's because his little hands are cold and he doesn't have any gloves!  Get the boy some gloves...!