Today was rough. Garnet-30-grit-sandpaper-on-a-skinned-knee rough. The students behaved like it was a combination of Halloween, Spring Fever and Full Moon with a dash of Last Day Before Summer for good measure. And how did I react? Just like any other self respecting adult trapped in a room with 31 rowdy 10-year-olds: I Almost Lost It.
I started to sweat.
My cheeks tinted rosy with frustration.
In my ears the dissonance of whining, whispering, blurting and the occasional fart noise are even still rattling around, echoing in my head; which, by the way, feels quite empty at the moment.
I feel like I tried everything to get those kids to relax. I reminded them of rules. I took individuals into the hall for a 'chat'. I listened and listened and listened to their reasons why it 'wasn't their fault' that their desk tipped completely over spilling the contents across the floor. I even stopped whole lessons to address the levels of disrespect that were boiling out of control. I rewarded the ones doing the 'right thing' and punished the ones doing the 'wrong'. Heck, I had half the class in my room during recess and one in the principal's office doing make-up work from the class time they wasted!
And yet...
...it continued.
After school, I sat awhile in my classroom alone just reflecting on the day. That 'awhile' turned into several 'awhiles' and pretty soon it was dusk. All these questions just kept circling around me...
Do I really have to come back tomorrow and spend another day with them? Do I have the strength to pick up the eraser and wipe their slates clean? Can I say 'good morning' to each of them and truly mean it?
Yes.
Even though it might be the last thing I want to do?
Yes.
I've decided that I'm going to start tomorrow with calm within me and with honest respect for them but with the renewed heart of someone who won't let today happen again.
Teacher Tip #14 When those days happen, and believe me they will, it may be a good idea to keep a sleeping bag at school. It's sometimes the only way to ensure that you'll show up the next morning!
Everyone has that day. I've spent the long evening reflecting at my desk as well. It will get better. Some years seem better than others. Some of those students don't know HOW to do the right thing and don't have parents that care. Today I had one of my "roughest" students... now a junior... come give me a hug and tell me she'll miss me as she left with her younger sister with a mother that randomly decided to move and drag them with her even though they haven't lived with her in 3 years. I hadn't talked to her in almost a year... but it made one of my worst years of teaching (last year) all worth it. This year I have the most amazing kids... definitely makes up for last year... I don't think I could have done that 2 years in a row!
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